[ He seems to give it a moment of consideration, but then-- ]
A hedgehog.
[ Fabian sounds so confident about that. Yet there's no elaboration or anything, despite the confidence in his tone. No, instead he glances over at Gorgug, asking: ]
Gorgug is staring at the ceiling with that, with the most hard-at-work face, eyes on full squint. A hedgehog? They're so.............small.
He doesn't even want to answer Fabian with how much he wants to focus on the idea of a hedgehog, but he will, reluctantly, slowly explaining: ] They can fly. They can swoop in from great distances, and-- don't you think it's cool when they sit on your arm, or your shoulder? You would look cool with a bird. Like an eagle.
[ The bridge of Fabian's nose wrinkles a little bit as he's thinking about it. Not even Gorgug's initial spiel about birds, but more the thing he's saying at the end there.
Because even though he's never really thought about whether birds by themselves are cool or not, of course Fabian has opinions about Owlbears. He's the captain of the team, he's got to have opinions even on their mascot! ]
Isn't the bear part supposed to be the cool part of an owlbear?
[ Yes, yes, Gorgug. He gets the idea. And Fabian even understands the appeal of a big hug - why date a half-orc if you aren't appreciating the good big hugs of it all!! - there's still a very obvious problem to him here. ]
We're talking about coolness, Gorgug! Coolness!
[ Only Fabian Seacaster could get this worked up in a bed without even having sex.. ]
What's cooler, an owlbear hugging someone or one ripping someone to shreds? What is it you think we do on the field?!
R-rip and tear? [ O-oh no, Fabian's getting worked up! Gotta sound more confident about this! ] We rip and tear! We knock their heads off!
[ Or maybe Gorgug is remembering the time he decapitated the team mascot's head off... but surely Gorgug is just getting into the same spirit Fabian is demanding of him!
[ .. okay, maybe that isn't really what they do on the field, but it's in the spirit of what they do on the field. To Fabian. Bloodrush has to be made to sound as cool as possible at all times.
Even when it's just the two of them, and it's not like there's anyone else around they have to convince. But this is just to make sure Gorgug says the right thing to the other people in this place too. Imagine if he would call an owlbear cuddly to anyone here.. It would ruin their reputation!! ]
Now you've got the right idea. Make sure to tell that to anyone else if they ask about owlbears or Bloodrush, alright? Emphasize how cool they are, and how cool we are!
O-okay. I'll talk about bloodrush just so I can tell them how cool it is.
[ Granted, he can't even remember the last time he talked about bloodrush with anyone but Fabian, and he's usually the one to bring it up. There doesn't seem like much point, not to Gorgug, though Fabian misses it. Considering he's actually always been into it, compared to Gorgug.
...
But maybe he'll bring it up to someone random, just because Fabian wants him to. That's not hard, right? ]
Do you talk to anyone about it anyway? I don't think sports has come up since we were in Moorecroft, for me...
[ And that's because they had those P.E classes. ]
Of course. [ He says it so naturally - despite what Gorgug is saying about it not really having come up for him.
Fabian shifts a little as he's laying there. ]
I talk to people about it all the time. [ Maybe as expected of Fabian, considering how much he seems into the sport.. ] Especially when other people bring up sports. I don't know what exactly they are playing out there in other worlds, but none of it ever sounds as cool. I seriously think we are playing the toughest sport out there.
I think a lot of people are softer in other worlds. What they tell me-- it's all humans and they don't...do adventuring. Some worlds just have that superhero stuff.
[ Which will forever remain a bizarre alternative to Gorgug, considering there seems to be no training. And they all have such weird 'villains'. ]
Do you know they get bad guys with weird names too? It's not just them-- one guy told me about Condiment Man. What does that even mean? Are they okay?
[ There's a slight pause, like Fabian is contemplating this Condiment Man. Considering how he doesn't reply right away, it's likely that he hasn't heard this story the way Gorgug has..
Then he says, very plainly: ]
Maybe it's like the corn.
[ Look, he doesn't like reminding Gorgug of Gorgug's very own No Good Not Great Day, but.
Condiment Man does kind of sound like an offshoot of sentient aggressive corn in the lunchroom, doesn't it. ]
Gorgug is the one who goes silent now, his gaze dropping as he remembers the corn cuties. So strong... so many... ]
They were so strong... and filled with starch.
[ His voice has dropped a note, a solemn note to it. He can't act better than the corn cuties, except for the fact that they're still dead and he isn't. ]
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A hedgehog.
[ Fabian sounds so confident about that. Yet there's no elaboration or anything, despite the confidence in his tone. No, instead he glances over at Gorgug, asking: ]
Why do you think birds are cool?
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....
Gorgug is staring at the ceiling with that, with the most hard-at-work face, eyes on full squint. A hedgehog? They're so.............small.
He doesn't even want to answer Fabian with how much he wants to focus on the idea of a hedgehog, but he will, reluctantly, slowly explaining: ] They can fly. They can swoop in from great distances, and-- don't you think it's cool when they sit on your arm, or your shoulder? You would look cool with a bird. Like an eagle.
[ He pauses, and now looks at Fabian. ]
An owlbear's a bird.
[ This means something, obviously. Hoot growl. ]
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Because even though he's never really thought about whether birds by themselves are cool or not, of course Fabian has opinions about Owlbears. He's the captain of the team, he's got to have opinions even on their mascot! ]
Isn't the bear part supposed to be the cool part of an owlbear?
[ This always felt pretty obvious to him!!! ]
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[ They're so cuddly, Fabian. Gorgug is calling the mascot of their team cuddly. ]
Big big arms warm to the hug, [ he adds, as if Fabian needs help to imagine the coziness of an owlbear. ]
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We're talking about coolness, Gorgug! Coolness!
[ Only Fabian Seacaster could get this worked up in a bed without even having sex.. ]
What's cooler, an owlbear hugging someone or one ripping someone to shreds? What is it you think we do on the field?!
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[ Or maybe Gorgug is remembering the time he decapitated the team mascot's head off... but surely Gorgug is just getting into the same spirit Fabian is demanding of him!
Rip and tear!!! ]
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[ .. okay, maybe that isn't really what they do on the field, but it's in the spirit of what they do on the field. To Fabian. Bloodrush has to be made to sound as cool as possible at all times.
Even when it's just the two of them, and it's not like there's anyone else around they have to convince. But this is just to make sure Gorgug says the right thing to the other people in this place too. Imagine if he would call an owlbear cuddly to anyone here.. It would ruin their reputation!! ]
Now you've got the right idea. Make sure to tell that to anyone else if they ask about owlbears or Bloodrush, alright? Emphasize how cool they are, and how cool we are!
no subject
[ Granted, he can't even remember the last time he talked about bloodrush with anyone but Fabian, and he's usually the one to bring it up. There doesn't seem like much point, not to Gorgug, though Fabian misses it. Considering he's actually always been into it, compared to Gorgug.
...
But maybe he'll bring it up to someone random, just because Fabian wants him to. That's not hard, right? ]
Do you talk to anyone about it anyway? I don't think sports has come up since we were in Moorecroft, for me...
[ And that's because they had those P.E classes. ]
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Fabian shifts a little as he's laying there. ]
I talk to people about it all the time. [ Maybe as expected of Fabian, considering how much he seems into the sport.. ] Especially when other people bring up sports. I don't know what exactly they are playing out there in other worlds, but none of it ever sounds as cool. I seriously think we are playing the toughest sport out there.
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[ Which will forever remain a bizarre alternative to Gorgug, considering there seems to be no training. And they all have such weird 'villains'. ]
Do you know they get bad guys with weird names too? It's not just them-- one guy told me about Condiment Man. What does that even mean? Are they okay?
[ No one is okay. ]
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Then he says, very plainly: ]
Maybe it's like the corn.
[ Look, he doesn't like reminding Gorgug of Gorgug's very own No Good Not Great Day, but.
Condiment Man does kind of sound like an offshoot of sentient aggressive corn in the lunchroom, doesn't it. ]
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Gorgug is the one who goes silent now, his gaze dropping as he remembers the corn cuties. So strong... so many... ]
They were so strong... and filled with starch.
[ His voice has dropped a note, a solemn note to it. He can't act better than the corn cuties, except for the fact that they're still dead and he isn't. ]