[ Fabian's fingers don't stop moving, though they're not going fast either. It's a slow, yet steady pattern. Almost like he's drawing the words out of Gorgug by scratching gentle patterns against the other's head, befitting of the sudden calm, yet sweet mood they have found themselves in.
It's so different from what happened before, considering the thirst in that, the rush, the adrenaline. But Fabian finds himself not minding this very much either. There's something about the way Gorgug leans against him and speaks like this that seems to soothe Fabian, calming him down.
Something that makes him want to stay like this.
Figuring out to say is still the hard part though. Especially when there's so much Fabian could address here. So much he probably should address. The way Gorgug bought that building to cheer him up, the way he put so many thoughtful little things into it. The way he thought of Fabian dancing. The drums. Everything that happened earlier today.
And yet he doesn't. Not yet, anyway. They'll have time to speak of that later, but Fabian does figure he should first address the last part Gorgug brings up - if not just because it's not like Fabian wants Gorgug to stay worried forever about one singular thing Fabian brought up that upset him. It was never meant to make Gorgug walk on eggshells. Fabian, he's-- He's always been good at just tolerating things anyway, as long as they make his friends happy. He would never want them to give up something for them, or constantly feel guilty because of them. ]
Gorgug, that's-- [ He starts, quietly. There's a hint of guilt in the edges of his voice, the same emotion that seems to make him stop for a moment before he tries again. ] You don't have to worry about that. That's not-- It was never about that.
[ Sorry that he's being a little vague, Gorgug. Fabian isn't fully sure of what he's saying here either, or how to express what he's feeling.
He doesn't move from their cozy position, but if Gorgug does move away and tries to look at him, Fabian won't avoid his gaze - though he looks a touch troubled, his cheeks just a little flushed. ]
The practical stuff's fine, you know? There's no way to avoid that anyway here. You didn't do anything bad. You did something-- Something great, actually.
[ For as comforting as the position is, Gorgug does move away. Not right in that moment, catching that Fabian still has something to say. After that though, much as he likes leaning on Fabian in this way, he does look at Fabian: he has to look at Fabian. Because he could hear the trickle of the guilt and concern that he hadn't meant to bring out.
And he thinks for Fabian's benefit, he needs to make sure that he can see the small smile on Gorgug's face. Not one that's forced, but gentle in this mood between them, and as well for the compliment put upon him. ]
Yeah? [ Gorgug says, at first. But after a second or so: ] I got the idea I did.
[ He's not even trying to lay down a joke or sound smug. But also: please look back about an hour or two ago. Yeah, Gorgug will say that getting pushed against a wall and kissed and having sex with a guy is a pretty great outcome, actually. Would do again.
Which is why Gorgug is not adding to any of this, nor touching on that guilt thing, sorry. He's actually basking in how excellent this night turned out, despite the torture that was sticking at the party?
He is a proud dog who just got told he is a good boy. His head is big, Fabian. That small smile? Growing so wide. ]
This is too much, Gorgug. It's too much! It was one thing when Fabian was worried about having hurt the other's feelings - which also isn't great, for the record - but it's something else entirely to have Gorgug smile at him like this. And not even because it could be interpreted as a sexy tease or anything, given the context of what is being implied right here.
No, it's entirely the smile by itself. Fabian doesn't even know what it is. Maybe it's because he allowed Gorgug to suck him off, maybe that altered something in his brain chemistry that he can't ever turn back. Maybe it's just that he's not used to Gorgug smiling this cutely and happily just to him. Over something that's just between them.
Whatever it is, it's effective as all hell. Something feels strangely tight in Fabian's chest, and it's like his heart makes a little leap, and the feeling is so sappy that it feels outright embarrassing.
So embarrassing that this time Fabian has to lean against Gorgug's shoulder, attempting to hide his burning flushed face there, letting out a sound that sounds like a very dramatically tortured and drawn out uuugghhhh. You can't do this to him, Gorgug. It's illegal, actually. Fabian has decided that whatever the hell you're making him feel is very illegal.
He's determined to only pull back once he feels like he is no longer blushing, but even after lingering for a moment or two, his face still feels hot as hell. So Fabian realizes he has to surrender, pulling back and sitting back up again, even if it means he's showing Gorgug that dumb blush on his cheeks at that smile. ]
You are impossible. [ He sounds so pouty in the moment. ] Do you know that?
[ Apparently this is not a bad thing though, because Fabian leans forward again - though this time it's to give Gorgug a kiss. A relatively chaste kiss. Not even any tongue or anything!
He pulls back from it relatively quickly too, but maybe it's just because Fabian felt like he had to add: ]
.. Tonight was the first time in months that I haven't thought about this place, you know.
[ Is he being too proud for a guy who made someone so happy, he got to suck them off? Is that the problem? Is that it?
Gorgug's still happy, regardless. Surprised for the moment that Fabian leans against him, but seeing the way it mirrors his own place not so long ago, Gorgug even figures to put a hand on Fabian's back and to pat him a couple of times on the shoulder, even if he can't predict the emotion going through Fabian in that instance. It just seems like the right call?
And it probably was, by the way that Fabian returns to face him, his sulking as evident on his face as it is in his tone.
Gorgug only continues to smile happily. Even before the kiss he receives, and the words that follow it. Words that deserve a return kiss, as if the kiss itself hadn't earned that right. But Fabian is saying something good, and didn't it start with this? A kiss?
Maybe it started with the Maximum itself, but Gorgug thinks a lot of good things occurred the moment that Fabian kissed him in the hallway. But here, following this kiss, Gorgug inches only slightly back from Fabian's face. Looking at him, that smile still ever present on his lips. ]
Well... I don't mind if we did that more. Any of it. [ His hands hang loosely around Fabian's waist now, but he hooks them around it instead, fingers linking together. ] I liked it. It was fun. [ ... ] Every part.
[ Is he thinking specifically about sucking Fabian off but not wanting to actually say it? Yes, and he's rubbing a thumb idly as he does so, not from any hinting gesture, but just because--this is nice too. Being close to Fabian, and having his arms around him.
And how close he's getting to be, right now and here, to Fabian as well. A different kind of intimacy than anything before. It's nice--it's really, really nice. ]
Granted, Gorgug was already kind of getting that message across by being the one to follow Fabian to his room and then kissing him in the first place. But it's one thing for it to be implied, and it's another thing for it to be made this explicit between the two of them, words actually hanging in the air now. Of course Fabian had thought the same, that he would really like to do that stuff again, and to do even more, but he had no idea how the hell to address it. How to put it into words. Doing these things with Gorgug is way more easily than talking about doing these things with Gorgug.
And it doesn't help that it still feels like his face is burning up over here. It feels so uncool, and that's the last possible way he'd like to come across while Gorgug is sitting here with him, saying those things and having his arms wrapped around Fabian's waist.
(It doesn't help that a part of him is thinking about how easy it'd be to climb onto Gorgug's lap all over again and just hope that Riz won't suddenly barge into his room, that he'll assume he's asleep--)
But he'll have to talk, huh. Uselessly looking between Gorgug's smile and Gorgug's lap isn't really doing to do anything for him here, that's for sure. ]
Actually, I--
[ He thinks back on Gorgug after he recovered. Gorgug, who had seemed horrified by what he had done by kissing Fabian so intensely, by threatening to almost assault him.
Shouldn't he at least use his words to soothe that Gorgug? The one who had been crying in his arms over it? ]
I have-- [ It doesn't make using your words about this any easier, mind you. But he's trying. He's trying so hard over here, forcing out the words. ] I have been thinking about doing things like these with you ever since that time we sparred.
[ No need to talk about which time, and Fabian knows it. As if Gorgug wouldn't know, when they had both been weirdly affected by it. ]
.. so you-- You were not the only one. [ It's hard to hold Gorgug's gaze, especially with that earnest look on the other's face. Fabian's own certainly was dropping, but he forces himself to look back up at the other's face properly as he speaks on. B-Be brave, Fabian!! Were you not raised to be brave!! ] I was only confused, since I thought I did not like men like that, but I-- I have found myself attracted to you ever since that time.
[ Fabian fusses internally about the heat on his face, how uncool it makes him. But in the same instance that he does, leaving Gorgug to watch him, it's a different story for him. Here, right now, there feels like there's a connection between them--an easier language than any that they're speaking, despite the struggle that Fabian is actually experiencing in himself. Despite the way that Fabian looks away from him now and then, but--Gorgug's okay with that. It's okay to have some difficulty, to feel a little embarrassed.
Even Gorgug feels it. He just feels his fondness even more.
But that does dim, somewhat, when Fabian mentions 'since that time we sparred'. The fondness doesn't leave him, but gets it tucked away in place of two different emotions--of surprise, and then a shame they had done well to squash earlier in the night. It should be, then, the last emotion on his mind; the last thing for him to experience after what they've done. But the reminder of that moment is-- it's tricky. The shame comes forward, but then so does the honesty Gorgug put forward as he was baring himself to Fabian with the other's hard-on close to on full display.
Gorgug can't help the reaction. But he does look back at Fabian again, his expression quieter, but showing that he's listening to the other; questioning where his hands are as he does, but trying not to get nervous now. Should he be, when Fabian's admitting to feeling the same as he had? But there's something more vulnerable about Fabian's own vulnerability than his own--or he just thinks so under this instance. But it's also validating, too: that he wasn't the only one who felt a spark then, who enjoyed it. ]
Oh. [ Even if Gorgug's head is a flustered mess who needs a second to think about it. Or just think, in general. ] I... I'm okay with that.
[ You know. That's a thing people are okay with, right? but he does follow it up with: ] You did seem to be the kind of guy more into girls, but I never asked. We never talked about that kind of thing.
[ Feelings. Except to deny that Fabian's relationship with Aelwyn didn't end because she found him boring, but that's a specific case than general romantic or sexual interests.
But Gorgug isn't sure if this is the direction he should be going in, either. He should be focusing directly on Fabian, and what he's saying, he thinks. So, with another pause, trying to be as thoughtful as he can: ]
Do you... Are you okay with it so far? I haven't been with a guy before either, so... we can find out what we like, or don't like. I'm okay if you're...still exploring that.
[ Does that make sense? Is he making sense? ....it just sounds like something new and deep that Fabian is going through, and surely he's meant to be very supportive right now.
Nevermind that Fabian is Gorgug's first guy to hook up with, too. ]
[ .. It's a rare occasion whenever Fabian Aramais Seacaster of all people is actually rendered silent. When he seems like he actually has to look for words, rather than just constantly spewing them off without a care. It's not that he doesn't want to talk about this, because what Gorgug is telling him is confirming to Fabian that he's actually on the right track, but it's so hard to talk about something you've never talked about before. Something you haven't even realized until now.
It makes it take a while to find out what to say, and his gaze dips a little bit before he looks back up at Gorgug, his gaze shy. ]
I don't know if it is about all guys? [ Which had been his original hangup! The reason why he didn't realize any of this! ] I can't think of another guy I have ever felt like this about before, or even right now.
[ It may be a flattering thing for Gorgug, but Fabian isn't even thinking about that right now, too busy figuring out his words and feelings here. ]
But with you, it's-- It's okay so far, yes. [ Nothing about what they did earlier had felt strange in any way. Everything had felt so natural. Maybe it's since Gorgug was taking care of him, but Fabian didn't even really have to think about it. It was as if something natural just.. felt into place.
It felt good. ]
I just-- like being close to you.
[ It feels like such a sappy thing to say, but it's the truth. There's definitely some very soft emotions in Fabian's eyes when he looks over at Gorgug and tells him that, showing just how genuine that sentiment is. It's not downplaying anything. It's just Fabian being honest about the intimacy he craves. Not even just the sexual kind from earlier, but also just.. this. Also just the times Gorgug laid in bed with him, doing nothing but cuddling. Also just the time Gorgug tried to cheer him up by cuddling on the couch together, sharing their company. ]
Is that strange?
[ H-He doesn't know! He's never been here before! ]
[ Sure, there's something about this that might be described as strange. Strange in a nice way, but also strange about how they got here. Strange to imagine this happening at all between them, when there was never any opportunity for it to happen before. There was never any hint, and it seemed to come down to one accidental spar to push anything along.
And even then, they were both willing to avoid it.
But if it's strange for Fabian to like being next to him, to like him--that isn't an equation that Gorgug wants to be the outcome. He's looking back at the other, not feeling like some beacon of knowledge just because he hasn't exactly been thinking about his sexuality as deeply as it seems like Fabian's had to as of late, but-- just as another guy, who rather likes the idea of having someone close to him. Of having that someone be Fabian.
That isn't strange. That's...nice. ]
I'd like to stay close, [ he offers, continuing. ] So...we can do that. And whatever else we want. And it doesn't matter who else thinks it's strange.
[ But there's a problem growing inside Gorgug as he says this. As he's looking at Fabian, being supportive, their bodies and their faces this close, that Gorgug can make out every detail. Not just Fabian's expression, but a very normal part of him that-- honestly, it might be noticeable that Gorgug's gaze keeps lowering down to it before looking Fabian back in his eye again. ]
... You have nice lips.
[ And maybe Gorgug's thinking about kissing them again.
[ There's something so nice about Gorgug being so affirming about this. Especially while Fabian is still trying to navigate this entire thing - knowing what he feels for Gorgug, more or less, but not knowing how to give it shape when he was never prepared for things to go down this way.
But Gorgug saying this stuff? It makes it easier. Fabian would like to claim that he doesn't need any reassurance, that he's confident enough to always stand on his own feet, but that's far from the truth. Sure, he does have confidence, but he always craves that little bit of extra validation.
Especially in situations like these, where he feels a little shaky. He doesn't even realize that a smile is starting to form on his face when he hears Gorgug say that it doesn't matter who thinks it's strange, and then when Gorgug pauses and then adds that?
It makes Fabian outright laugh. A good laugh, though. The sort of laugh that flies out of your mouth before you've even realized it's there, one born of pure amusement, of fondness.
Isn't this what he likes about Gorgug? Yes, the other can be incredibly hot, but what Fabian already treasured in the other even as just as a friend was this - the sweetness, the way Gorgug is so simple that it's kind of amusing, never as tangled up in thoughts as Fabian himself.
The laugh still bubbling out of him, Fabian leans a little closer to press his lips to Gorgug's own. They linger for a moment or two, and when he pulls away, he's still so close that his breath lands on Gorgug's lips. ]
That's the benefit of us doing this.
[ Whatever 'this' is. B-Boyfriends, Fabian guesses? The term still feels a little flustering to him, and he isn't sure he can say it even in his own mind, but he does know he'd like to do more with Gorgug than just straight up having sex, which means it isn't just friends with benefits. And the idea of Gorgug doing this with others doesn't sit right with him either, so--
Boyfriends.
Maybe.
Fabian tries to not think too hard about it in this moment, instead focusing on the moment itself, on the way Gorgug's closeness makes him feel weirdly carefree in a way he isn't used to feeling.
The smile lingers on his face, almost a grin now. ]
[ Gorgug watches Fabian laugh innocently. With suspicion or worry about where his laugh comes from, even if he isn't entirely sure if it's because he announced he liked Fabian's lips or something else. Or if that's a bad or good thing, but he's got a small little smile of his own going on, happy to let Fabian have his laugh. Because he's got a nice laugh too, and it's better seeing Fabian like this after the past few weeks: happy, comfortable.
Honestly, Gorgug isn't sure when the last time was he saw either Fabian or Riz this way. Since before the infection went around? Before the spaceship crashed into Etraya? But only barely.
If kissing them or fucking them or anything along those lines could make them feel better, then-- Gorgug would do it every day, honestly. Or maybe just Fabian.
...but it's not a one-way street. When Fabian presses that kiss to his lips, lets Gorgug treasure its sweet taste as it is, Gorgug's own smile grows with the fondness in his own chest. Fabian's breath on his mouth, promising him something good with their changing relationship.
Gorgug unhooks his hands from around Fabian's back and places his palms on Fabian's cheeks, fingers tucking under his ears. Because Fabian just gave him permission to kiss him back, but, it turns out, it's not just about the sex or kissing-- ]
Really? You mean it?
[ It's about the sweetness between them, too, this nice feeling in the centre that hadn't been too obvious in the karaoke booth, or kissing at the foot of the stairs. Gorgug brushes his thumbs along the skin of Fabian's cheeks just because he wants to take in the touch of them for himself. He wants that kiss too, but he's willing to play for it, to wait for an answer to give Fabian a peck if he's truly allowed, and maybe follow it up if there's room for him to ask, 'And another?', and again, 'And now too?'
With, by then, the humour as much on Gorgug's lips as Fabian is: a pure delight for what's become of their relationship.
[ Fabian gives permission for every single kiss that falls on his cheeks - his own little answers, more like affirmative hums - just as playful as Gorgug's own requests for permission. He knows it's all meant a little jokingly, a little sweetly, but..
He likes that. There's something about the sweetness he likes, something he never really stopped to consider while he was busy trying to chase down the most toxic relationships known to men because he simply didn't know what else to do. His parents never taught him that sometimes romance can just be this. That it can just be your heart feeling light while your face is in someone else's hands, when the press of their fingertips near your ears feels like a pleasant tickle. Maybe they could have informed him sooner, if not just so he would have something more pleasant to distract him from the general unpleasantness of this place.
Fabian is quiet for once, not yapping at ten miles an hour while he allows Gorgug to place as many kisses on his face as the other wants. It's only when it slows down that Fabian speaks up again, still smiling. ]
Do you want to stay here tonight?
[ It sounds too sweet to be him asking for sex. ]
I don't think I can just let you back to your own room now.
Okay. [ There's no hesitation, no thought given to the idea. There's a nice comfort here right now that Gorgug isn't having to think at all. Not even as he says, ] We might have to fix up the bed if I'm going to be in it a lot more. I'll do it another day.
[ Because there's no implication here that Gorgug will have a place in Fabian's bed more often: it's outright stated, isn't it? Gorgug lets his hands slip farther back, fingers tangling into each other as they cup around Fabian's neck. His heart is giddy, and he's both tired but also rather enjoying what they have right here, that even Gorgug feels the need to say more. Thinking to himself things that he never made clear in his past relationship well, but also wanting to be careful about this new one between him and Fabian, and... ]
I don't know if it's too early to say I loves you, [ he starts, ] but I really like you, and you're one of my best friends. And you've really been there for me these past few months. [ His smile is bright on his mouth, but it twitches, as giddy as the rest of Gorgug; who can't even keep his gaze still, but always making sure to have it to return to Fabian's eye. ] And I'm happy to be sharing this with you. Whatever it turns out to be.
[ He looks a little surprised to hear those words so directly. Not a bad kind of surprise, but more just.. well, it's not like Fabian exactly comes from the department of being direct with your feelings. Maybe some feelings, but not these. It feels like trying to navigate a tightrope, but something about Gorgug's sweet presence makes it at least feel like there's a net there. Like it's fine, even if he falls. That it'll be alright.
Still, Fabian does need a second after Gorgug is done speaking to address those words. Looking a little flustered, maybe even weirdly shy by Fabian standards, but managing to speak all the same. ]
Yeah.
[ It's just that at first, which basically translates to same, to all of that, but it's not like he can just leave it at that. ]
I-- I will admit I started liking you because of.. you know. The wilder stuff, let's say. [ Since he doesn't want to refer back to Dominant Gorgug in as many words when there's so much baggage attached to that for the other, and that's not something he wants to drag into the sweetness here. ] But.. when you discovered I was not doing well, you were so sweet to me. Especially since I did not really know how to deal with it, and you tried to help me figure out ways.
[ Like just sitting with it. Just cuddling. It's not something mister "shove everything down and try to focus on 20 other things" over here has ever done before. ]
And I realized I really like that side of you too. So.. erm. Hence.. this.
[ This!! Whatever it turns out to be, indeed. ]
I-- I think I like the sound of the term 'boyfriend' in this case. Even if I will have to get used to it. [ Translation: he's a little shy. For how much a guy like Fabian can brag, he's a baby about the actual emotional stuff.. Just a soft baby.. ] But either way, I would-- I would like for this to just be between us. As in.. If you won't kiss anyone else, then I won't kiss anyone else either.
[ Yes, he's asking to be exclusive.
Just still being a shy baby about it. Just look at that flustered Fabian face. ]
[ It's okay if Fabian starts off slow--Gorgug likes to go slow himself, so he's patient as he listens and waits. For Fabian to speak, but also for him to get through his own feelings. This is new, isn't it? Without actually being entirely new, as Fabian has admitted: they've both been dancing around certain feelings for a while.
But it's strange (again--in that good way!) to think that trying to be a better friend made Gorgug like him like this. When it was Fabian sharing his vulnerabilities to begin with that made Gorgug try to listen more, be more thoughtful about his relationships and how his friends were doing. Funny, then, that a little more attention thrown Fabian's way could get him to...like like him.
...it's even sweeter with how shyly Fabian is speaking, too. That's definitely what Gorgug's paying a lot of attention to as well.
But he's nodding, when Fabian admits that he has to get used to the term boyfriends, and that he'd like to be exclusive. Not speaking up immediately at that end, but- ]
Okay. That's cool. I can just kiss you. [ But look at him this time not asking if that means he can kiss him right now. He's behaving! ] But when you say you want this to be between us... do you want to keep it on the down low for a while? We live-- there's Riz.
[ And, you know... Gorgug doesn't mind keeping things to between them, but if they're keeping their relationship hush hush for a while, Gorgug will need to keep that in mind around their roommate. Their pal. Their Tenacious Lad. ]
And the mention of him seems to make Fabian grow quiet for a moment. If he knew the full extent of Riz's issues, this likely would be even a little bit more complicated. But even without that knowledge, Fabian frowns a little.
It's not a huge mood drop or anything, but he certainly seems to be struggling with more than just fluster at this point. He looks concentrated, like he really has to think about this, for some reason. ]
I don't mind letting him know. [ It doesn't feel right to keep a secret that big from their friend, after all. Having Riz be the only person out of the loop just feels Bad. ] But it's just..
[ Witness the struggle. Apparently whatever Fabian is about to say is the thing that's making him speak so slowly in the first place, drawing his eyebrows together to think. ]
Do you think it would be.. weird for him?
[ Fabian sounds so unsure as he asks that - because he has no idea. They've never done this whole dating thing within the group of the Bad Kids, so Fabian doesn't know if it'd be weird. He certainly couldn't really imagine any of their four friends dating each other, so maybe Riz would think the same thing about him and Gorgug? ]
No. As long as we tell him nothing's changed between the three of us.
[ Gorgug can see the uncertainty as much as he hears it in Fabian's tone, but there's no doubt to Gorgug's answer for him. Sure, it might be odd (in the way that Gorgug wondered if any of the Bad Kids would ever be into another Bad Kid?), but not the kind that means anything. They're all friends first. There's only one thing that comes to Gorgug's mind, and... ]
You two sleep together sometimes, right? You can let him know-- I'm okay if you keep doing that. I'm not gonna get jealous. You don't have to stop.
[ Friendship dynamics. That's what Gorgug thinks they need to consider, if anything, even though right now, the sleeping arrangements is the one point he can think of... ]
[ Fabian's jaw drops a little when Gorgug brings up the whole sleeping thing. Of course Fabian is well aware that Gorgug also knows that it's definitely not a sexy thing, that it's definitely just sleeping, but there's something in Fabian that can't help but immediately says: ]
Y-Yes, but that's-- It's different! [ Technically not. After all, cuddling up against Gorgug or cuddling up with Riz are practically for the same reason for Fabian - just comfort. It's comforting to have his friends so close to him while he sleeps, sharing that physicality. ] You know I'm not-- Me and the Ball are not--
[ His face is so red, but it's not because he's lying, okay. Fabian is just a flustered weenie.
As always. ]
We are best friends! There is nothing to be jealous of to begin with..!
[ So much to say, and all for something Gorgug clearly seems okay with in the first place.. And already said he wouldn't be jealous of.. ]
[ Wow, this is exactly like the situations in fanfics where people reveal they're in love with other people....
...that Gorgug doesn't read, so it means nothing to Gorgug. Except he's thinking about what Fabian's saying, as he does. Because he just said he wouldn't get jealous, but with Fabian saying there's nothing to get jealous of... is that true? Could he get jealous?
Maybe. But he also isn't sure if it's worth saying that, so. It's a distracting thought for a moment. ]
I can sleep with other people too, then?
[ There isn't a good reason that he asks it. Truthfully, it's just because Fabian's being so flustered and panicking over it that Gorgug asks something that....just comes first to his head. Fabian is saying a thing, so he is going to ask a question based on that thing.
[ Fabian being flustered doesn't help with that question. Because he's just worked up enough that for a moment he imagines Gorgug saying sleep with other people in an entirely different way than the other obviously means - the way Fabian was vehemently denying only a moment ago.
He quickly banishes the thought from his head, considering it's giving him a really weird feeling down in his stomach that he doesn't want to think about enough to find out what it is. ]
W-Well, I mean.. [ Look at Fabian go. He looks so uncertain. Not because he wants to be unfair about this, though - it's more just that he's still flustered. He needs a moment to breathe, to calm down.
Then he can answer Gorgug properly. ]
Of course. Just as friends. I wouldn't find it weird if you slept with Fig the way I do with the Ball. [ See, that feels like a more proper analogy. Bad Kid sleeping. Sleeping with your bestie. T-That's fine, right? Fabian doesn't feel weird about that thought, unlike where his flustered mine went only a moment ago. ]
[ Gorgug understands what Fabian's saying. And yet, there's a moment, and maybe it's delayed to hit him now, but he wonders--was there something else going on between Fabian and the Ball? Because Fabian got worked up when he mentioned the Ball (wait, brain--Riz. Riz), but he's also okay with Gorgug sleeping together with Fig as friends.
...
His mouth opens, and then closes, his brain doing the calculations that are obviously already there. Fabian said he's the first guy he's thought about sexually, and he's willing to believe that, so- no. Fabian and Riz haven't secretly been fucking this entire time. ]
Okay. Yeah. That's what I mean. I don't really sleep with anyone except you and Riz anyway...
[ So, it's not as much of a factor for him, and his sleeping sessions with Riz don't come up as often as they do for Fabian and Riz, so.
...but his brain is still questioning that fluster that Fabian got in, though Gorgug isn't sure how to address it. So what he does, as if it might help anything, is leans in to give Fabian a quick peck on the lips.
Reboot? Reboot. ]
I don't think anything is going on between you and Riz. [ Is he reassuring Fabian? May...be... ] But we should... depending on what we wanna do, we have to remember he's a part of our life here, too. I don't want him to feel lonely.
[ And saying that, it softens Gorgug's features a little. He looks down between them, and lowers his hands to finds Fabian's to hold onto in their laps. ]
[ The peck does help with the reboot in the sense that Fabian looks a whole lot less freaked out.
But he doesn't smile after it either. His gaze is more thoughtful than that. And a little bit worried too, though he isn't avoiding Gorgug's gaze. Like he wants to be honest with him about this, especially after what they did at the party, after the talk they've had just now. ]
That is exactly what I'm worried about.
[ .. is he projecting? He isn't sure. Technically he doesn't know how Riz feels about this, after all. But Fabian does know that if Riz and Gorgug had started dating in this place.. He himself would likely feel a little weird about it.
Especially because of what Gorgug is saying. It's been a hard time for all of them. This place is a hard time for all of them. Someone feeling left out would only make it worse. ]
Do you think we could tell him without him feeling bad..? [ For how much Fabian often takes the lead, it seems like he's leaving this guess in Gorgug's hands.
Maybe because Gorgug actually has experience with the entire dating thing in the first place, unlike Fabian. Not that all the communication with Zelda always went super well, but-- you know. It's still more experience. ]
[ This is a lot more thinking than thought he was coming into Fabian's room to do, but he at least takes it seriously. Or tries to--the thing is, he doesn't really have an answer or a solution that he knows is going to work for this problem. If it's even a problem to begin with, and they're not trying to prepare to put out a fire that won't even exist.
But it's about Riz, so they both care. Gorgug looks up at Fabian's ceiling, quiet as he contemplates--less of a furrowed brow for once, and only slightly. ]
Well... how about we take it slowly...? We're still figuring out what this is, or...I don't know what dating in Etraya is going to be like. [ Admittedly. That's the thing. What are they going to do to date? ] So- we'll think about what we want to do and how we want to spend time with each other, and make room for that and for Riz, too. And everyone else.
[ Right? But now Gorgug's really stuck on what he just said, and now he's closer to making his usual face... ]
[ At first Fabian nods while Gorgug speaks. It does sound good to him - really, they should at least seem confident about what they have figured out between the two of them before they can properly tell Riz about it, right? - and he figures it's something they would have done by default, anyway. He can't imagine Gorgug ignoring Riz, and it's not like Fabian has any intention of ditching his friend either.
But then that question follows, and Fabian looks at Gorgug with his one eye in a way that seems to indicate he hadn't really thought this through that far yet.
(Let's be real - these boys aren't doing that much thinking in the first place.) ]
Well-- [ There's a slight pause, but it's not too long before he's already settled on: ] That would be nice.
[ He's always wanted that, after all. Dates always seemed like an important part to his ideal dream relationship. And the thought of a date with Gorgug.. It's kind of nice.
Especially when he thinks of the sweetness they're already sharing between the two of them as they're sitting on his bed here. ]
If we can make it work somehow, despite this place being.. [ His voice trails off, and in a tone of you-know-what-I-mean he adds: ] .. this place.
[ Aka: impossible to work with at times. Who says it isn't doing to do something dumb to them mid-date? ]
[ It's not that out there, at least: going on dates. Even in Etraya, despite the uncertainty presented in the idea to Fabian, but mainly because Gorgug's never considered it before. He was even talking to Rosie about how she should date and be happy, and he'd think the same for any other of his friends.
We can. [ It might be a bold statement, despite not being put forward in a bold way. Still: ] If you want to, we will. We'll think of stuff we can do, and-- if we just wanna hang out, we can do that too.
[ There is a very important matter, after all. ] You didn't even get to use the dance rooms yet.
[ Right? Maybe Fabian saw them (or one of them), but, that's a pretty big deal! Dancing is Fabian's thing! ]
[ There's something kind of nice about how easy this seems to be. Or, rather-- how easy Gorgug is making this. With the kind of examples Fabian has had in his life, he always imagined the whole romance thing to be something incredibly complicated. Something where you'd keep having to make up over the top things to do together, like that's the only way you could possibly have a relationship.
He never thought it could be this easy until Gorgug laid it out like this. Just.. hanging out together. That easy.
It's nice. ]
You'd want to watch me dance? [ After all, Gorgug is kind of putting it in the context of a date.. There's a faint blush on Fabian's cheeks as he asks that because of that thought.
I-Is that proper date material? Gorgug said he doesn't like dancing, but if it's a date, he'd have to come along to the dance studio.. So is that what he'd want instead? ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
It's so different from what happened before, considering the thirst in that, the rush, the adrenaline. But Fabian finds himself not minding this very much either. There's something about the way Gorgug leans against him and speaks like this that seems to soothe Fabian, calming him down.
Something that makes him want to stay like this.
Figuring out to say is still the hard part though. Especially when there's so much Fabian could address here. So much he probably should address. The way Gorgug bought that building to cheer him up, the way he put so many thoughtful little things into it. The way he thought of Fabian dancing. The drums. Everything that happened earlier today.
And yet he doesn't. Not yet, anyway. They'll have time to speak of that later, but Fabian does figure he should first address the last part Gorgug brings up - if not just because it's not like Fabian wants Gorgug to stay worried forever about one singular thing Fabian brought up that upset him. It was never meant to make Gorgug walk on eggshells. Fabian, he's-- He's always been good at just tolerating things anyway, as long as they make his friends happy. He would never want them to give up something for them, or constantly feel guilty because of them. ]
Gorgug, that's-- [ He starts, quietly. There's a hint of guilt in the edges of his voice, the same emotion that seems to make him stop for a moment before he tries again. ] You don't have to worry about that. That's not-- It was never about that.
[ Sorry that he's being a little vague, Gorgug. Fabian isn't fully sure of what he's saying here either, or how to express what he's feeling.
He doesn't move from their cozy position, but if Gorgug does move away and tries to look at him, Fabian won't avoid his gaze - though he looks a touch troubled, his cheeks just a little flushed. ]
The practical stuff's fine, you know? There's no way to avoid that anyway here. You didn't do anything bad. You did something-- Something great, actually.
no subject
And he thinks for Fabian's benefit, he needs to make sure that he can see the small smile on Gorgug's face. Not one that's forced, but gentle in this mood between them, and as well for the compliment put upon him. ]
Yeah? [ Gorgug says, at first. But after a second or so: ] I got the idea I did.
[ He's not even trying to lay down a joke or sound smug. But also: please look back about an hour or two ago. Yeah, Gorgug will say that getting pushed against a wall and kissed and having sex with a guy is a pretty great outcome, actually. Would do again.
Which is why Gorgug is not adding to any of this, nor touching on that guilt thing, sorry. He's actually basking in how excellent this night turned out, despite the torture that was sticking at the party?
He is a proud dog who just got told he is a good boy. His head is big, Fabian. That small smile? Growing so wide. ]
no subject
This is too much, Gorgug. It's too much! It was one thing when Fabian was worried about having hurt the other's feelings - which also isn't great, for the record - but it's something else entirely to have Gorgug smile at him like this. And not even because it could be interpreted as a sexy tease or anything, given the context of what is being implied right here.
No, it's entirely the smile by itself. Fabian doesn't even know what it is. Maybe it's because he allowed Gorgug to suck him off, maybe that altered something in his brain chemistry that he can't ever turn back. Maybe it's just that he's not used to Gorgug smiling this cutely and happily just to him. Over something that's just between them.
Whatever it is, it's effective as all hell. Something feels strangely tight in Fabian's chest, and it's like his heart makes a little leap, and the feeling is so sappy that it feels outright embarrassing.
So embarrassing that this time Fabian has to lean against Gorgug's shoulder, attempting to hide his burning flushed face there, letting out a sound that sounds like a very dramatically tortured and drawn out uuugghhhh. You can't do this to him, Gorgug. It's illegal, actually. Fabian has decided that whatever the hell you're making him feel is very illegal.
He's determined to only pull back once he feels like he is no longer blushing, but even after lingering for a moment or two, his face still feels hot as hell. So Fabian realizes he has to surrender, pulling back and sitting back up again, even if it means he's showing Gorgug that dumb blush on his cheeks at that smile. ]
You are impossible. [ He sounds so pouty in the moment. ] Do you know that?
[ Apparently this is not a bad thing though, because Fabian leans forward again - though this time it's to give Gorgug a kiss. A relatively chaste kiss. Not even any tongue or anything!
He pulls back from it relatively quickly too, but maybe it's just because Fabian felt like he had to add: ]
.. Tonight was the first time in months that I haven't thought about this place, you know.
no subject
Gorgug's still happy, regardless. Surprised for the moment that Fabian leans against him, but seeing the way it mirrors his own place not so long ago, Gorgug even figures to put a hand on Fabian's back and to pat him a couple of times on the shoulder, even if he can't predict the emotion going through Fabian in that instance. It just seems like the right call?
And it probably was, by the way that Fabian returns to face him, his sulking as evident on his face as it is in his tone.
Gorgug only continues to smile happily. Even before the kiss he receives, and the words that follow it. Words that deserve a return kiss, as if the kiss itself hadn't earned that right. But Fabian is saying something good, and didn't it start with this? A kiss?
Maybe it started with the Maximum itself, but Gorgug thinks a lot of good things occurred the moment that Fabian kissed him in the hallway. But here, following this kiss, Gorgug inches only slightly back from Fabian's face. Looking at him, that smile still ever present on his lips. ]
Well... I don't mind if we did that more. Any of it. [ His hands hang loosely around Fabian's waist now, but he hooks them around it instead, fingers linking together. ] I liked it. It was fun. [ ... ] Every part.
[ Is he thinking specifically about sucking Fabian off but not wanting to actually say it? Yes, and he's rubbing a thumb idly as he does so, not from any hinting gesture, but just because--this is nice too. Being close to Fabian, and having his arms around him.
And how close he's getting to be, right now and here, to Fabian as well. A different kind of intimacy than anything before. It's nice--it's really, really nice. ]
no subject
Granted, Gorgug was already kind of getting that message across by being the one to follow Fabian to his room and then kissing him in the first place. But it's one thing for it to be implied, and it's another thing for it to be made this explicit between the two of them, words actually hanging in the air now. Of course Fabian had thought the same, that he would really like to do that stuff again, and to do even more, but he had no idea how the hell to address it. How to put it into words. Doing these things with Gorgug is way more easily than talking about doing these things with Gorgug.
And it doesn't help that it still feels like his face is burning up over here. It feels so uncool, and that's the last possible way he'd like to come across while Gorgug is sitting here with him, saying those things and having his arms wrapped around Fabian's waist.
(It doesn't help that a part of him is thinking about how easy it'd be to climb onto Gorgug's lap all over again and just hope that Riz won't suddenly barge into his room, that he'll assume he's asleep--)
But he'll have to talk, huh. Uselessly looking between Gorgug's smile and Gorgug's lap isn't really doing to do anything for him here, that's for sure. ]
Actually, I--
[ He thinks back on Gorgug after he recovered. Gorgug, who had seemed horrified by what he had done by kissing Fabian so intensely, by threatening to almost assault him.
Shouldn't he at least use his words to soothe that Gorgug? The one who had been crying in his arms over it? ]
I have-- [ It doesn't make using your words about this any easier, mind you. But he's trying. He's trying so hard over here, forcing out the words. ] I have been thinking about doing things like these with you ever since that time we sparred.
[ No need to talk about which time, and Fabian knows it. As if Gorgug wouldn't know, when they had both been weirdly affected by it. ]
.. so you-- You were not the only one. [ It's hard to hold Gorgug's gaze, especially with that earnest look on the other's face. Fabian's own certainly was dropping, but he forces himself to look back up at the other's face properly as he speaks on. B-Be brave, Fabian!! Were you not raised to be brave!! ] I was only confused, since I thought I did not like men like that, but I-- I have found myself attracted to you ever since that time.
no subject
Even Gorgug feels it. He just feels his fondness even more.
But that does dim, somewhat, when Fabian mentions 'since that time we sparred'. The fondness doesn't leave him, but gets it tucked away in place of two different emotions--of surprise, and then a shame they had done well to squash earlier in the night. It should be, then, the last emotion on his mind; the last thing for him to experience after what they've done. But the reminder of that moment is-- it's tricky. The shame comes forward, but then so does the honesty Gorgug put forward as he was baring himself to Fabian with the other's hard-on close to on full display.
Gorgug can't help the reaction. But he does look back at Fabian again, his expression quieter, but showing that he's listening to the other; questioning where his hands are as he does, but trying not to get nervous now. Should he be, when Fabian's admitting to feeling the same as he had? But there's something more vulnerable about Fabian's own vulnerability than his own--or he just thinks so under this instance. But it's also validating, too: that he wasn't the only one who felt a spark then, who enjoyed it. ]
Oh. [ Even if Gorgug's head is a flustered mess who needs a second to think about it. Or just think, in general. ] I... I'm okay with that.
[ You know. That's a thing people are okay with, right? but he does follow it up with: ] You did seem to be the kind of guy more into girls, but I never asked. We never talked about that kind of thing.
[ Feelings. Except to deny that Fabian's relationship with Aelwyn didn't end because she found him boring, but that's a specific case than general romantic or sexual interests.
But Gorgug isn't sure if this is the direction he should be going in, either. He should be focusing directly on Fabian, and what he's saying, he thinks. So, with another pause, trying to be as thoughtful as he can: ]
Do you... Are you okay with it so far? I haven't been with a guy before either, so... we can find out what we like, or don't like. I'm okay if you're...still exploring that.
[ Does that make sense? Is he making sense? ....it just sounds like something new and deep that Fabian is going through, and surely he's meant to be very supportive right now.
Nevermind that Fabian is Gorgug's first guy to hook up with, too. ]
no subject
[ .. It's a rare occasion whenever Fabian Aramais Seacaster of all people is actually rendered silent. When he seems like he actually has to look for words, rather than just constantly spewing them off without a care. It's not that he doesn't want to talk about this, because what Gorgug is telling him is confirming to Fabian that he's actually on the right track, but it's so hard to talk about something you've never talked about before. Something you haven't even realized until now.
It makes it take a while to find out what to say, and his gaze dips a little bit before he looks back up at Gorgug, his gaze shy. ]
I don't know if it is about all guys? [ Which had been his original hangup! The reason why he didn't realize any of this! ] I can't think of another guy I have ever felt like this about before, or even right now.
[ It may be a flattering thing for Gorgug, but Fabian isn't even thinking about that right now, too busy figuring out his words and feelings here. ]
But with you, it's-- It's okay so far, yes. [ Nothing about what they did earlier had felt strange in any way. Everything had felt so natural. Maybe it's since Gorgug was taking care of him, but Fabian didn't even really have to think about it. It was as if something natural just.. felt into place.
It felt good. ]
I just-- like being close to you.
[ It feels like such a sappy thing to say, but it's the truth. There's definitely some very soft emotions in Fabian's eyes when he looks over at Gorgug and tells him that, showing just how genuine that sentiment is. It's not downplaying anything. It's just Fabian being honest about the intimacy he craves. Not even just the sexual kind from earlier, but also just.. this. Also just the times Gorgug laid in bed with him, doing nothing but cuddling. Also just the time Gorgug tried to cheer him up by cuddling on the couch together, sharing their company. ]
Is that strange?
[ H-He doesn't know! He's never been here before! ]
no subject
[ Sure, there's something about this that might be described as strange. Strange in a nice way, but also strange about how they got here. Strange to imagine this happening at all between them, when there was never any opportunity for it to happen before. There was never any hint, and it seemed to come down to one accidental spar to push anything along.
And even then, they were both willing to avoid it.
But if it's strange for Fabian to like being next to him, to like him--that isn't an equation that Gorgug wants to be the outcome. He's looking back at the other, not feeling like some beacon of knowledge just because he hasn't exactly been thinking about his sexuality as deeply as it seems like Fabian's had to as of late, but-- just as another guy, who rather likes the idea of having someone close to him. Of having that someone be Fabian.
That isn't strange. That's...nice. ]
I'd like to stay close, [ he offers, continuing. ] So...we can do that. And whatever else we want. And it doesn't matter who else thinks it's strange.
[ But there's a problem growing inside Gorgug as he says this. As he's looking at Fabian, being supportive, their bodies and their faces this close, that Gorgug can make out every detail. Not just Fabian's expression, but a very normal part of him that-- honestly, it might be noticeable that Gorgug's gaze keeps lowering down to it before looking Fabian back in his eye again. ]
... You have nice lips.
[ And maybe Gorgug's thinking about kissing them again.
Sorry. But he's a simple guy. ]
no subject
But Gorgug saying this stuff? It makes it easier. Fabian would like to claim that he doesn't need any reassurance, that he's confident enough to always stand on his own feet, but that's far from the truth. Sure, he does have confidence, but he always craves that little bit of extra validation.
Especially in situations like these, where he feels a little shaky. He doesn't even realize that a smile is starting to form on his face when he hears Gorgug say that it doesn't matter who thinks it's strange, and then when Gorgug pauses and then adds that?
It makes Fabian outright laugh. A good laugh, though. The sort of laugh that flies out of your mouth before you've even realized it's there, one born of pure amusement, of fondness.
Isn't this what he likes about Gorgug? Yes, the other can be incredibly hot, but what Fabian already treasured in the other even as just as a friend was this - the sweetness, the way Gorgug is so simple that it's kind of amusing, never as tangled up in thoughts as Fabian himself.
The laugh still bubbling out of him, Fabian leans a little closer to press his lips to Gorgug's own. They linger for a moment or two, and when he pulls away, he's still so close that his breath lands on Gorgug's lips. ]
That's the benefit of us doing this.
[ Whatever 'this' is. B-Boyfriends, Fabian guesses? The term still feels a little flustering to him, and he isn't sure he can say it even in his own mind, but he does know he'd like to do more with Gorgug than just straight up having sex, which means it isn't just friends with benefits. And the idea of Gorgug doing this with others doesn't sit right with him either, so--
Boyfriends.
Maybe.
Fabian tries to not think too hard about it in this moment, instead focusing on the moment itself, on the way Gorgug's closeness makes him feel weirdly carefree in a way he isn't used to feeling.
The smile lingers on his face, almost a grin now. ]
You can kiss me whenever you want.
no subject
Honestly, Gorgug isn't sure when the last time was he saw either Fabian or Riz this way. Since before the infection went around? Before the spaceship crashed into Etraya? But only barely.
If kissing them or fucking them or anything along those lines could make them feel better, then-- Gorgug would do it every day, honestly. Or maybe just Fabian.
...but it's not a one-way street. When Fabian presses that kiss to his lips, lets Gorgug treasure its sweet taste as it is, Gorgug's own smile grows with the fondness in his own chest. Fabian's breath on his mouth, promising him something good with their changing relationship.
Gorgug unhooks his hands from around Fabian's back and places his palms on Fabian's cheeks, fingers tucking under his ears. Because Fabian just gave him permission to kiss him back, but, it turns out, it's not just about the sex or kissing-- ]
Really? You mean it?
[ It's about the sweetness between them, too, this nice feeling in the centre that hadn't been too obvious in the karaoke booth, or kissing at the foot of the stairs. Gorgug brushes his thumbs along the skin of Fabian's cheeks just because he wants to take in the touch of them for himself. He wants that kiss too, but he's willing to play for it, to wait for an answer to give Fabian a peck if he's truly allowed, and maybe follow it up if there's room for him to ask, 'And another?', and again, 'And now too?'
With, by then, the humour as much on Gorgug's lips as Fabian is: a pure delight for what's become of their relationship.
Boyfriends. ]
no subject
He likes that. There's something about the sweetness he likes, something he never really stopped to consider while he was busy trying to chase down the most toxic relationships known to men because he simply didn't know what else to do. His parents never taught him that sometimes romance can just be this. That it can just be your heart feeling light while your face is in someone else's hands, when the press of their fingertips near your ears feels like a pleasant tickle. Maybe they could have informed him sooner, if not just so he would have something more pleasant to distract him from the general unpleasantness of this place.
Fabian is quiet for once, not yapping at ten miles an hour while he allows Gorgug to place as many kisses on his face as the other wants. It's only when it slows down that Fabian speaks up again, still smiling. ]
Do you want to stay here tonight?
[ It sounds too sweet to be him asking for sex. ]
I don't think I can just let you back to your own room now.
no subject
[ Because there's no implication here that Gorgug will have a place in Fabian's bed more often: it's outright stated, isn't it? Gorgug lets his hands slip farther back, fingers tangling into each other as they cup around Fabian's neck. His heart is giddy, and he's both tired but also rather enjoying what they have right here, that even Gorgug feels the need to say more. Thinking to himself things that he never made clear in his past relationship well, but also wanting to be careful about this new one between him and Fabian, and... ]
I don't know if it's too early to say I loves you, [ he starts, ] but I really like you, and you're one of my best friends. And you've really been there for me these past few months. [ His smile is bright on his mouth, but it twitches, as giddy as the rest of Gorgug; who can't even keep his gaze still, but always making sure to have it to return to Fabian's eye. ] And I'm happy to be sharing this with you. Whatever it turns out to be.
[ He won't regret it--he's sure of it. ]
no subject
[ He looks a little surprised to hear those words so directly. Not a bad kind of surprise, but more just.. well, it's not like Fabian exactly comes from the department of being direct with your feelings. Maybe some feelings, but not these. It feels like trying to navigate a tightrope, but something about Gorgug's sweet presence makes it at least feel like there's a net there. Like it's fine, even if he falls. That it'll be alright.
Still, Fabian does need a second after Gorgug is done speaking to address those words. Looking a little flustered, maybe even weirdly shy by Fabian standards, but managing to speak all the same. ]
Yeah.
[ It's just that at first, which basically translates to same, to all of that, but it's not like he can just leave it at that. ]
I-- I will admit I started liking you because of.. you know. The wilder stuff, let's say. [ Since he doesn't want to refer back to Dominant Gorgug in as many words when there's so much baggage attached to that for the other, and that's not something he wants to drag into the sweetness here. ] But.. when you discovered I was not doing well, you were so sweet to me. Especially since I did not really know how to deal with it, and you tried to help me figure out ways.
[ Like just sitting with it. Just cuddling. It's not something mister "shove everything down and try to focus on 20 other things" over here has ever done before. ]
And I realized I really like that side of you too. So.. erm. Hence.. this.
[ This!! Whatever it turns out to be, indeed. ]
I-- I think I like the sound of the term 'boyfriend' in this case. Even if I will have to get used to it. [ Translation: he's a little shy. For how much a guy like Fabian can brag, he's a baby about the actual emotional stuff.. Just a soft baby.. ] But either way, I would-- I would like for this to just be between us. As in.. If you won't kiss anyone else, then I won't kiss anyone else either.
[ Yes, he's asking to be exclusive.
Just still being a shy baby about it. Just look at that flustered Fabian face. ]
no subject
But it's strange (again--in that good way!) to think that trying to be a better friend made Gorgug like him like this. When it was Fabian sharing his vulnerabilities to begin with that made Gorgug try to listen more, be more thoughtful about his relationships and how his friends were doing. Funny, then, that a little more attention thrown Fabian's way could get him to...like like him.
...it's even sweeter with how shyly Fabian is speaking, too. That's definitely what Gorgug's paying a lot of attention to as well.
But he's nodding, when Fabian admits that he has to get used to the term boyfriends, and that he'd like to be exclusive. Not speaking up immediately at that end, but- ]
Okay. That's cool. I can just kiss you. [ But look at him this time not asking if that means he can kiss him right now. He's behaving! ] But when you say you want this to be between us... do you want to keep it on the down low for a while? We live-- there's Riz.
[ And, you know... Gorgug doesn't mind keeping things to between them, but if they're keeping their relationship hush hush for a while, Gorgug will need to keep that in mind around their roommate. Their pal. Their Tenacious Lad. ]
no subject
And the mention of him seems to make Fabian grow quiet for a moment. If he knew the full extent of Riz's issues, this likely would be even a little bit more complicated. But even without that knowledge, Fabian frowns a little.
It's not a huge mood drop or anything, but he certainly seems to be struggling with more than just fluster at this point. He looks concentrated, like he really has to think about this, for some reason. ]
I don't mind letting him know. [ It doesn't feel right to keep a secret that big from their friend, after all. Having Riz be the only person out of the loop just feels Bad. ] But it's just..
[ Witness the struggle. Apparently whatever Fabian is about to say is the thing that's making him speak so slowly in the first place, drawing his eyebrows together to think. ]
Do you think it would be.. weird for him?
[ Fabian sounds so unsure as he asks that - because he has no idea. They've never done this whole dating thing within the group of the Bad Kids, so Fabian doesn't know if it'd be weird. He certainly couldn't really imagine any of their four friends dating each other, so maybe Riz would think the same thing about him and Gorgug? ]
no subject
[ Gorgug can see the uncertainty as much as he hears it in Fabian's tone, but there's no doubt to Gorgug's answer for him. Sure, it might be odd (in the way that Gorgug wondered if any of the Bad Kids would ever be into another Bad Kid?), but not the kind that means anything. They're all friends first. There's only one thing that comes to Gorgug's mind, and... ]
You two sleep together sometimes, right? You can let him know-- I'm okay if you keep doing that. I'm not gonna get jealous. You don't have to stop.
[ Friendship dynamics. That's what Gorgug thinks they need to consider, if anything, even though right now, the sleeping arrangements is the one point he can think of... ]
no subject
Y-Yes, but that's-- It's different! [ Technically not. After all, cuddling up against Gorgug or cuddling up with Riz are practically for the same reason for Fabian - just comfort. It's comforting to have his friends so close to him while he sleeps, sharing that physicality. ] You know I'm not-- Me and the Ball are not--
[ His face is so red, but it's not because he's lying, okay. Fabian is just a flustered weenie.
As always. ]
We are best friends! There is nothing to be jealous of to begin with..!
[ So much to say, and all for something Gorgug clearly seems okay with in the first place.. And already said he wouldn't be jealous of.. ]
no subject
...that Gorgug doesn't read, so it means nothing to Gorgug. Except he's thinking about what Fabian's saying, as he does. Because he just said he wouldn't get jealous, but with Fabian saying there's nothing to get jealous of... is that true? Could he get jealous?
Maybe. But he also isn't sure if it's worth saying that, so. It's a distracting thought for a moment. ]
I can sleep with other people too, then?
[ There isn't a good reason that he asks it. Truthfully, it's just because Fabian's being so flustered and panicking over it that Gorgug asks something that....just comes first to his head. Fabian is saying a thing, so he is going to ask a question based on that thing.
2+2=4, here. ]
no subject
He quickly banishes the thought from his head, considering it's giving him a really weird feeling down in his stomach that he doesn't want to think about enough to find out what it is. ]
W-Well, I mean.. [ Look at Fabian go. He looks so uncertain. Not because he wants to be unfair about this, though - it's more just that he's still flustered. He needs a moment to breathe, to calm down.
Then he can answer Gorgug properly. ]
Of course. Just as friends. I wouldn't find it weird if you slept with Fig the way I do with the Ball. [ See, that feels like a more proper analogy. Bad Kid sleeping. Sleeping with your bestie. T-That's fine, right? Fabian doesn't feel weird about that thought, unlike where his flustered mine went only a moment ago. ]
no subject
...
His mouth opens, and then closes, his brain doing the calculations that are obviously already there. Fabian said he's the first guy he's thought about sexually, and he's willing to believe that, so- no. Fabian and Riz haven't secretly been fucking this entire time. ]
Okay. Yeah. That's what I mean. I don't really sleep with anyone except you and Riz anyway...
[ So, it's not as much of a factor for him, and his sleeping sessions with Riz don't come up as often as they do for Fabian and Riz, so.
...but his brain is still questioning that fluster that Fabian got in, though Gorgug isn't sure how to address it. So what he does, as if it might help anything, is leans in to give Fabian a quick peck on the lips.
Reboot? Reboot. ]
I don't think anything is going on between you and Riz. [ Is he reassuring Fabian? May...be... ] But we should... depending on what we wanna do, we have to remember he's a part of our life here, too. I don't want him to feel lonely.
[ And saying that, it softens Gorgug's features a little. He looks down between them, and lowers his hands to finds Fabian's to hold onto in their laps. ]
It's been a hard time for all of us.
no subject
But he doesn't smile after it either. His gaze is more thoughtful than that. And a little bit worried too, though he isn't avoiding Gorgug's gaze. Like he wants to be honest with him about this, especially after what they did at the party, after the talk they've had just now. ]
That is exactly what I'm worried about.
[ .. is he projecting? He isn't sure. Technically he doesn't know how Riz feels about this, after all. But Fabian does know that if Riz and Gorgug had started dating in this place.. He himself would likely feel a little weird about it.
Especially because of what Gorgug is saying. It's been a hard time for all of them. This place is a hard time for all of them. Someone feeling left out would only make it worse. ]
Do you think we could tell him without him feeling bad..? [ For how much Fabian often takes the lead, it seems like he's leaving this guess in Gorgug's hands.
Maybe because Gorgug actually has experience with the entire dating thing in the first place, unlike Fabian. Not that all the communication with Zelda always went super well, but-- you know. It's still more experience. ]
no subject
But it's about Riz, so they both care. Gorgug looks up at Fabian's ceiling, quiet as he contemplates--less of a furrowed brow for once, and only slightly. ]
Well... how about we take it slowly...? We're still figuring out what this is, or...I don't know what dating in Etraya is going to be like. [ Admittedly. That's the thing. What are they going to do to date? ] So- we'll think about what we want to do and how we want to spend time with each other, and make room for that and for Riz, too. And everyone else.
[ Right? But now Gorgug's really stuck on what he just said, and now he's closer to making his usual face... ]
...do you wanna go on dates here...?
[ Truly. What is dating in Etraya. ]
no subject
But then that question follows, and Fabian looks at Gorgug with his one eye in a way that seems to indicate he hadn't really thought this through that far yet.
(Let's be real - these boys aren't doing that much thinking in the first place.) ]
Well-- [ There's a slight pause, but it's not too long before he's already settled on: ] That would be nice.
[ He's always wanted that, after all. Dates always seemed like an important part to his ideal dream relationship. And the thought of a date with Gorgug.. It's kind of nice.
Especially when he thinks of the sweetness they're already sharing between the two of them as they're sitting on his bed here. ]
If we can make it work somehow, despite this place being.. [ His voice trails off, and in a tone of you-know-what-I-mean he adds: ] .. this place.
[ Aka: impossible to work with at times. Who says it isn't doing to do something dumb to them mid-date? ]
no subject
...just, he's never thought about what they might do. But there's a few cafés around run by the companion bots, so maybe it won't be that weird. It's not like they're in a completely empty city save the people being brought into it by mysterious means. ]
We can. [ It might be a bold statement, despite not being put forward in a bold way. Still: ] If you want to, we will. We'll think of stuff we can do, and-- if we just wanna hang out, we can do that too.
[ There is a very important matter, after all. ] You didn't even get to use the dance rooms yet.
[ Right? Maybe Fabian saw them (or one of them), but, that's a pretty big deal! Dancing is Fabian's thing! ]
no subject
He never thought it could be this easy until Gorgug laid it out like this. Just.. hanging out together. That easy.
It's nice. ]
You'd want to watch me dance? [ After all, Gorgug is kind of putting it in the context of a date.. There's a faint blush on Fabian's cheeks as he asks that because of that thought.
I-Is that proper date material? Gorgug said he doesn't like dancing, but if it's a date, he'd have to come along to the dance studio.. So is that what he'd want instead? ]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
we finally wrapped it... we did it.......